This post is dedicated to my long-suffering dog, Candy
Children (especially toddlers!), like repetition. This, of course the way in which they learn about the world around them. Michael, my darling little red son, Michael, is obsessed with dogs and horses. So we watch the PBS documentary on dogs and horses at least twice a day (and that’s a slow day!) Now, for me this is just background noise as I run around like a busy mom. I’ve caught snippets here and there, but I really wasn’t paying it any attention. In fact, I was extremely happy just to have a few minutes of not hearing “Mommy!”
Once we become adults we tend to think that we don’t need repetition. Our attitude becomes “been there, done that” and we stop paying attention to the important things in our lives. I know I’m personally working on knowing when a distraction is worth my focus and when to ignore it. Distractions come in the form of telephone calls, my friend’s crises and my natural desire to help people. I am learning how to sort out “real” things I need to take care of versus things that others want me to take care of for them.
Anyway, Michael got sick (just in time for Mother’s Day!) and we were sitting on the couch watching his favorite show — Nature: Dogs. Since he was clingy and feverish I was truly a “captive audience.” We watched the first episode that focused on puppies and all of the adjustments that they have to make in order to be a happy pack member of a human family. And as I was watching and really paying attention to this information, I learned that I have been doing my dog Candy a HUGE injustice. I actually got teary because I felt so badly for how we’ve been treating her the past couple of years. And before the animal activists come to club me, let me give you a little background.
I purchased Candy from her original owner when she was two years old. She had a seizure disorder and her former owner was very sickly. My youngest daughter was two years old at the time. Candy immediately fell in love with the children and enjoyed playing with them. I helped to wean her off of her medication after she was spade and her seizures haven ‘t returned. All was going well and then I got pregnant with Michael. I was on bedrest, homeschooling, doing typing work and just pretty miserable. Everything annoyed me, but Candy most of all. She’s a really sweet dog, but incredibly needy and I just didn’t have the patience for her non-stop need to be petted.
Fast forward to Michael’s birth and subsequent craziness — I was swamped and Candy kept getting the low end of the stick. I didn’t walk her regularly, but would get angry with her when she took herself for a walk. I wasn’t playing with her, but then would get mad when she made up a game of her own, like dig up my vegetable garden. 🙁 You know, the double standard that is unfair to whomever it is applied. And through it all she still likes me. Dogs really are better people than people. 🙂
Watching the documentary shone the spotlight on my failures as a pack leader and owner. One point that really smacked me in the head is that her earlier training was for another family. The behavior that worked for that family doesn’t always fit in with our lifestyle. So, I’m now in the process of teaching her how to fit into our pack. I’m proud to say that she’s finally learning to play “fetch” correctly. She used to catch the ball and then refuse to give it to us to throw it again. We’re still only about 60% obedience on the “Give” command, but we’re both improving.
But really this isn’t just a story about Candy. It’s about leadership and setting reasonable expectations. Does your aggravation with your business or family stem from their failures or your own? Are you clear about your expectations? Do you teach teach your children, business partners, or pets how to meet your benchmarks?
I know that I’ve been guilty of being flustered about household chores not getting done correctly or efficiently only to find out the kids really didn’t understand what the heck I was talking about. Talk about having egg on my face! So my advice is to sit yourself down with your dog (or cat) and re-evaluate your situation:
- “How much have I contributed to the confusion/frustration in my life?”
- Answer honestly and then make a plan to do better.
- Pay attention to your followers and their concerns.
- Both children and animals want to please so if there’s a consistent missing of the mark, your leadership is probably the problem and not them.
- Take time to observe and learn how to best help your “pack” to succeed
- Learn to be a “Mary” and not a “Martha” (Read Luke 10:38-42)
- And don’t take yourself so seriously — it’s all good!
- And last, but not least, Candy also recommends a good mile walk once a day and really healthy snacks to keep you in a good mood. She reports it’s working wonders on her pack leader! 🙂
Originally written May 8, 2009
